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Former Straight and Narrow client looks back at his addiction and recovery to bring hope to others
First appeared in the Beacon, the newspaper for the Diocese of Paterson on April 16, 2019
By CECILE PAGLIARULO
Picture being in a packed baseball stadium with fans cheering. It’s the bottom of the ninth. Two outs. The bases are loaded. Zach Drexler steps up to home plate with a bat in his hands ready to deliver a hit to win the game.
The 30-year-old Drexler said that’s how he looks at his life, like a baseball game. “My life and the decisions I make are in my hands alone,” he said.Drexler’s first love was baseball, a sport he has played his entire life. As a child, he even dreamed of playing baseball in college and the major leagues. But his life changed, like hitting a pop up caught foul territory for an out instead of getting the game-winning hit, when he became one of the two million people in the United States who become addicted to drugs through prescription opioid pain medication.
But when he finally committed to the team at Straight and Narrow (S&N) here, they hit a home run that he said saved his life.
Growing up in Oak Ridge section of West Milford, he had the typical suburban upbringing. He had the loving support of both his parents, Denise and Daniel, and his older brother, Lucas. They went on family trips, ate dinners together and attended Mass at St. Joseph Parish in West Milford. Drexler said, “My life seemed like ‘Leave it to Beaver’ and I was Beaver.”
During his teen years, he experimented with alcohol and marijuana growing distant with his family, especially with his dad. At first, his parents thought it was just a stage. It wasn’t and he starting trying harder drugs. In 2011, Drexler was in car accident. And when his family doctor prescribed OxyContin for his pain it brought his descent into addiction even deeper. He said he would steal to feed his addiction and he was arrested on several occasions for drug possession.
“When I first started abusing OxyContin I don’t know if it was because I was trying to fit in or I was trying to mask something or hide who I really was,” he told The Beacon. “I don’t have that one underling thing that I know led me to drug addiction. Addiction itself simply doesn’t judge. It’s not going after the homeless. Addiction is going into every household. It could start with a simple toothache and a dentist prescribes a painkiller for it.”
Similar to so many who become addicted to illegal drugs, his painkiller addiction led to a heroin addiction. Once a doctor’s prescription and the refills were gone, heroin replaces it. Heroin is cheaper, quicker and easier to get than painkillers, he said.
His stints in rehab began soon after. At inpatient facilities, he either got kicked out or he manipulated his way out. Two of them were in Florida near the beach with swimming pools on site. Drexler describes them as vacation spots. Back in New Jersey, he went to outpatient facilities, but he was wavered in his attendance. Eventually, his parents’ health insurance no longer covered his rehab.
His family was experiencing a daily nightmare, living in constant fear. Denise, his mother, said, “We lived wondering when we would we get that call Zach had overdosed.”
Living through a decade of fear, his family never lost hope. Danny, his dad, said, “We would never wish this on any parent, but we always had hope. We would not give up on him. There would be times this felt like a hidden, dirty secret but addiction is a disease. It is nothing to be ashamed about. We need to stop the stigma.”
At 26, Drexler finally went to Straight and Narrow in Paterson for the first time at his dad’s discretion. Drexler said to his dad, “What makes you think I’m going to get sober where I got high?,” referring to the city of Paterson.
S&N, an agency of diocesan Catholic Charities, is the state’s largest facility of its kind in the rehabilitation of those overcoming addiction to drugs or alcohol. And it is the place that finally changed Drexler’s life. Different from the scenic locales of the other rehab centers, S&N is located deep in the hard-scrabble city surrounded by factories, schools, businesses and St. Joseph’s Hospital, just two blocks away.
“S&
N was 100 percent different from the other rehab places,” he said, “but 100 percent different was what I needed.”For his first time at S&N, Drexler lived there for nearly nine months spending holidays, like Christmas, away from his family. But he still had this mentality that didn’t help in recovering. He said, “I went in there thinking I know what’s best for Zach.”
When he got out, he was close to a year living sober but Drexler’s behavior never changed. He began using again with two more arrests on his record. He thought he would be able to drink and be a functioning alcoholic and use successfully. “I still lacked that genuine sobriety,” he said.
Finally, late in 2016, Drexler hit an emotional rock bottom. He remembers one night going into his parents’ room. He was withdrawing and he said, “Mom, I think I need to go back to Straight and Narrow.”
His mother answered, “I know, Zach.”
For the next 45 days, Drexler knew this time if he wanted to get sober. He had to finally look deep within himself and S&N allowed him to do that. “I was there this final time in rehab strictly for myself,” he said. “I wasn’t there pleasing the legal system, my parents, my friends. I was there for my happiness. If I am successful, everyone else will be happy for me.”
Drexler’s sobriety date is Dec. 30, 2016, which is an important date for those who have recovered from addiction. “It’s the day I restarted my life,” said Drexler.
He will be forever grateful to S&N and the many counselors who helped him. He thanks one counselor in particular, Irv DeBois.
DeBois, who serves in many capacities at S&N as director of its apartments, community living supervisor and choir liaison, consistently worked with Drexler and never gave up on him. DeBois, a recovering addict himself and 12 years sober, said, “They assigned me to work closely with Zach. At first, he was a bit of a challenge, especially during his first time around. The second time he came to understand what recovery and addiction was because of his relapse. He was ready to change and he came through with flying colors.”
Drexler is also grateful to his sponsor through Alcoholics Anonymous and the meetings he attended immediately after returning home from rehab. “Alcohol is what always took me out. Drugs were always on the backburner,” said Drexler.
S&N, founded in 1954, began as a treatment program for male alcoholics and today serves the community as a comprehensive social service, health care and community development agency. It is the oldest community-based residential treatment facility for those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol in the U.S. It has residential treatment for men and women including pregnant women and new moms. It also has detox facilities, a halfway house, outpatient treatment, early learning programs for children in Paterson and a family success center.
Angela Nikolovski, director of Special Initiatives at Straight and Narrow, said, “We really strive to meet each individual at their point of readiness that comes to S&N and help in their goals of recovery. In the midst of the opioid epidemic , it gives us much hope and even a sense of pride when we hear a success story like Zach’s.”
DeBois added, “S&N gives you the atmosphere to focus on yourself and look into yourself where you need to change. Learn the reason of what got you there. Every client has the potential and inspiration to change.”
With more than two years sober, Drexler has a job he enjoys with a construction company and he has a supportive boss. His relationship with his parents is closer than ever. He also has found a woman who he can spend the rest of his life with and she did not judge him about his addiction. Her family is equally supportive. They are now in the midst of planning their wedding in the spring of 2020.
“His addiction is part of his story and we are so proud of him,” Drexler’s mother said. “Being a parent isn’t easy, let alone being a parent of an addict. But being a parent of a recovering addict brings hope.”
Drexler looks at his life now and says, “This is a life beyond my wildest dreams. When I was a little kid, this obviously wasn’t my plan: to be a drug addict and an alcoholic. It wasn’t my plan, but it was in my deck of cards and I had to play my hand. One of the main purposes of my sobriety is to spread the message there is hope and this does work. If someone reaches out to me I will be there to help and give them that hope, just like S&N did for me”
To learn more about Straight and Narrow visit ccpaterson.org/sn.
If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction call (973) 345-6000 ext. 6289